中国家庭并不常用电话答录机(AnsweringMachine)，但在北美家庭，几乎家家都用。外来电话拨入时，若该电话号码的主人不在，就会让拨入者听到一段留言，这叫Answer。绝大多数的Answer都是千篇一律的：说明主人不在，请拨入者留下简短信息及姓名电话号码等。
以下几则特别的Answer体现了美国人的幽默，你能体会出其幽默所在吗?
1)MywifeandIcan’tcometothephonerightnow，butifyou’llleaveyournameandnumber，we’llgetbacktoyouassoonaswe’refinished.
2)Hi.ThisisJohn.Ifyouarethephonecompany，Ialreadysentthemoney.Ifyouaremyparents，pleasesendmoney.Ifyouaremyfinancialaidinstitution，youdidn’tlendmeenoughmoney.Ifyouaremyfriends，youowememoney.Ifyouareafemale，don’tworry，Ihaveplentyofmoney.
3)Hi，I’mnothomerightnowbutmyansweringmachineis，soyoucantalktoitinstead.Waitforthebeep(beep：主人的Answer讲完以后，AnswerMachine会发出一声beep，这时候来电话者就可以开始留言了。).
4)Hi!John’sansweringmachineisbroken.Thisishisrefrigerator.Pleasespeakveryslowly，andI’llstickyourmessagetomyselfwithoneofthesemagnets(磁铁).注：通常情况下，来电话者面对录音讲话都不太自然，所以语言往往很急促，三句两句话就完了。这可苦坏了接听留言的主人，听多少遍都听不清留言者到底是谁，讲了些什么。对于母语非英文的人，这种感觉会更深。所以，以下这两段幽默干脆就首先告诉电话拨入者，我的AnswerMachine不好使，你且慢慢来。
5)Hello，thisisSally’smicrowave.Heransweringmachinejusteloped(私奔)withhertapedeck(磁带驱动器)，soI’mstuckwithtakinghercalls.Say，ifyouwantanythingcookedwhileyouleaveyourmessage，justholdituptothephone.
6)Hello，youaretalkingtoamachine.Iamcapableofreceivingmessages.Myownersdonotneedsiding(墙板，壁板)，windows，orahottub(浴盆)，andtheircarpetsareclean.Theygivetocharity(慈善团体)throughtheirofficeanddonotneedtheirpicturetaken.Ifyou’restillwithme，leaveyournameandnumberandtheywillgetbacktoyou.
7)Hi.Iamprobablyhome.I’mjustavoidingsomeoneIdon’tlike.Leavemeamessage，andifIdon’tcallback，it’syou.
8)Thisisnotanansweringmachine--thisisatelepathic(心灵感应术)thought-recordingdevice.Afterthetone，thinkaboutyourname，yourreasonforcallingandanumberwhereIcanreachyou，andI’llthinkaboutreturningyourcall.注：tone：与对第3)句beep的注释含义完全一样，主人的Answer讲完以后，AnswerMachine会发出一声beep，这时候来电话者就可以开始留言了。
9)Hi，thisisGeorge.I’msorryIcan’tanswerthephonerightnow.Leaveamessage，andthenwaitbyyourphoneuntilIcallyouback.
10)Ifyouareaburglar(夜贼)，thenwe’reprobablyathomecleaningourweaponsrightnowandcan’tcometothephone.Otherwise，weprobablyaren’thomeandit’ssafetoleaveusamessage.
11)You’regrowingtired.Youreyelids(眼皮)aregettingheavy.Youfeelverysleepynow.Youaregraduallylosingyourwillpower(毅力)andyourabilitytoresistsuggestions.Whenyouhearthetoneyouwillfeelhelplesslycompelledto(感到无助而被迫做某事)leaveyourname，number，andamessage.
12)Pleaseleaveamessage.However，youhavetherighttoremainsilent.Everythingyousaywillberecordedandwillbeusedbyus.注：youhavetherighttoremainsilent：电影电视里警察出示逮捕令时常讲的一句话。西方社会讲究人权，任何疑犯在未审判之前不得认为有罪，因而不能逼供、更不可拷打：他们有权保持沉默。
13)Hello，you’vereachedJimandSonya.Wecan’tpickupthephonerightnow，becausewe’redoingsomethingwereallyenjoy.Sonyalikesdoingitupanddown，andIlikedoingitlefttoright...realslowly.Soleaveamessage，andwhenwe’redonebrushingourteeth，we’llgetbacktoyou.
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